I don't know what you are talking about.

Dearest Bee..

I'm terribly sorry for the times I've hurt you.
I wish I could express myself better so that we wouldn't have that kinda misunderstandings on repeat mode.
I don't want to bog you down with unnecessary stress or emotions.
I just want us..most imptly - you to be happy in this relationship.
To love someone is to set the person free & not to tie the person down with lotsa burden.
I will get better, bee.
I know you have been trying your best to be patient & tolerant.
But I need to try a million times to get out of bottling up my feelings & to express myself more effectively.
I have to do so..in order not to ruin this wonderful love we share.
I love you, bee. I love you alot.
Thank you for everything.

My aunt passed away on Saturday afternoon. Sigh. She is in a better place now..free of all the pain & loneliness. Why do good people have to go away this way? I wish I could say my last goodbye to her but I can't..sadly. I will always remember fondly how much fun it was to stay at her place in m'sia. The days when I can still hear her loud chuckling & chattering. I recalled how sad & happy she looked when I greeted her at my uncle's funeral 2 yrs back. She was wheelchair bound & couldn't even speak. Gone were the days when she was always friendly & cheerful. It was a saddening sight. I will always remember you, big aunt. Your kids & husband didn't deserve your love..not at all.

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Getting the tixx for MUSE has nothing to do with the image above.






Thanks bee for getting them tixx first! Love you! :)

As you can see, it's a quiet day at work since it's been raining for awhile.
Anyway I've been feeling tired inside out lately. Am I doing too much? I'm starting to lose the zest..I'm burning out.
There isn't much to handle at work these days besides preparing for the year end sale & pushing daily sales as usual. Plans for a new space next year..change in merchandises etc.
JLPT4 is nearing & I shudder at the thought. My preparation is nowhere there.
Keyboard lessons have been fine but I wish I would make a big improvement soon. All the morning practices gotta go somewhere.
Oh yah I hate being broke. Next mth is gonna be a killer for me. Birthdays, Xmas, gig tixx..
And I want to start my practical driving lessons! Gotta start in Jan then.

Blah tell me am I being over ambitious at wanting to achieve everything?

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I needa stop being self conscious..it's inhibiting my true power. I've got so much more to offer!

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I need to start writing down my plans & the things I need to do to achieve them.
A step-by-step guide!
Damn I know I'm super anal but I can't help it.


Keyboard, driving license, JLPT4, savings for the future..

I am finally getting my ass to start my practical lessons as soon as I get a pair of specs with the right degree for my eyes done.
Don't wanna be a blind bat on the streets. Dangerous!
A couple of reasons that prompted me to do so..
Firstly quite a number of my younger friends are taking or have a license already.
Secondly..SSDC is moving to Woodlands in March 2010. This is like a sign from God mann.
The only thing is paying for the lessons. I hope my parents will be able to chip in a lil!
I'm gonna do it asap then Bee & I can start planning for a car of our own too :)

Anyway, we went to Swee Lee today coz Bee needed to get a new guitar strap.
We were browsing around & spotted this really adorable & surprisingly practical portable amp.
When I say portable..it is really portable. It comes with a hand carry strap & it can run on batteries!
Here it is..the Roland Mobile Cube.
The sound is incredible! For sucha small amp..it is very loud!
Besides you can use it with keyboard & also with others like acoustic guitar, electric guitar..
You can even jam along to your fav song by plugging in your mp3 player!
By taking out the vocals, you can sing & play along using this lil amp.
Pretty functional I must say for home usage..
There is a 40% off too..which makes it about S$330++
Nice.

I've just spent the past 2 hrs reading about Aokigahara which is located at the foot of Mount Fuji.
It's startling to know that it is the infamous suicide ground for many Japanese especially of men who had lost their jobs. It is also ranked 2nd in the world for the highest number of suicides!

Here is a link to some disturbing images of the forest & the suicide committers.

You must be wondering why in the world did I even start reading about Aokigahara?
All b'coz of this article which was posted by my friend on FB.
A more recent article can be found here.
Well with a book like The Complete Manual of Suicide written & published in Japan, it's not surprising that suicide is inherent in them.
Hur.

I wanna go for the Anime Festival this year! 
I know I'm a late bloomer but I wanna try cosplaying.
However I have no idea which character I should be/wanna be.
Hmm..food for thought!
Getting the costume is another thing..buy/rent/DIY?
I doubt I'll DIY though coz it's gonna be time consuming (& I'm lazy).
Oh well..we shall see :)